#just your usual burn out
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My commission is always open but i rarely post my arts anymore so everyone just assume i don't do comm anymore💦
but tbh, nowadays i feel...afraid of drawing
#idk#just your usual burn out#or depression?#but tbh#lots of times i just...hate drawing#i really need other hobbies..#not saying i don't accept comm#just...gottta fist fight my inner demon and “work”
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seeing clearer
(sequel to another comic of mine, the calamity.)
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all my other comics
store
#cw: eye scarring#cw: christianity#as a theme. and not a particularly positive depiction either.#the calamity has anger issues but is earnestly trying her best#the survivor is patient#and also not scared of her at all#the calamity is talking about the story of samson and delilah in pg 2 btw#i tend to only make oneshot short story these days but im fond of this pair#had the urge to draw something a little mundane with these two and the slowest slow burn of a relationship you could ever imagine#also usually a broken mirror would equal 7 years of bad luck but the calamity so outclasses it as far as bad omens go#im pretty sure the effects are just cancelled out#anyway#next comic will be a different story entirely i promise#thank you for your patience#and as always#thank you for reading#comic art#sapphic art#stillindigo art#hearteaters#stillindigo comics
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Voice actors are NOT the same as actors.
It takes a specific kind of skill-set and training to be able to warp and meld the voice. It takes a certain kind of talent and dedication to hone that talent into the ability to meld the voice and invoke emotion with one's voice alone. Actors are used to using their voice secondarily to their body language and their facial expressions. It's all mirrored back on camera. They do have nuance. But it's a different kind of nuance and a different kind of training to produce that nuance.
Voice actors might get their likeness transposed on their character's design, and maybe their mannerisms might seep into the character's animation. But when it's all said and done: their presence is in their voice. They are bringing a character to life, showing that emotion in their voice, trying to keep a specific accent, drawl, pitch, tone in that voice and keep it consistent for their recording sessions.
The voice actor is like a classically trained musician who can play first chair in a competitive, world-renown orchestra. The actor (who fills the voice actor's role) is like a moot who played violin in beginner and intermediate high school orchestra and thinks they can get into Juilliard with that 2-4 years of experience.
This doesn't mean that the HS orchestra moot can't play. They can even be really good at it. Maybe they won competitions and sat first chair. But they are not in the same league as the person who's been training their whole lives and lives and breathes to hone their craft using the instrument and all of the training they've ever acquired to perfect it. They are not meant for the same roles. They are not in the same caliber. You do not hire the HS equivalent when you want to play complex music in a competitive orchestra.
Actors are not the same as voice actors.
And furthermore, actors - especially big name actors - taking the roles of animated characters for big budget films or TV pilots makes no sense anyways when - at least in the case of TV pilots - there's not a point to hiring a big budget actors anyways. That money could be used elsewhere (like paying your animators), and the talent that is brought onto the screen for X character could then be hired on to voice said character no recasting required.
I wouldn't say voice acting as a profession is in danger exactly, but it's certainly being disrespected and overlooked for celebrity clout, and this has ALWAYS been an issue. Shoot, even Robin Williams knew that much - which is why he tried so hard not to be used as a marketing chess piece for Aladdin and got royally pissed off when it happened anyways. People shouldn't go to any movie (but especially not animated films) because "oh famous actor is in it". People should go because it's a good movie and the voice acting is good.
People who honest to god think that voice actors are replaceable because "oh well anyone can voice act" or "I like xyz celebrity so naturally it'll be good" ... Honestly I just wish you'd reassess your priorities because you're missing the point and are part of the problem.
Voice Actors ≠ Actors.
#(i am incredibly passionate about this)#(and seeing celebrity voice actors in what should be a voice actor's role completely burns my buns it doesn't matter WHO it is)#(hemsworth as optimus? someone tell me one good reason why they couldn't get a good v/a to replace mr. cullen properly for the future)#(ben shwartz as sonic? dude literally isn't even a good voice actor OR actor anyways-)#(- A N D jason griffith AND my boy roger craig smith are still RIGHT HERE)#(jason griffith IN PARTICULAR would have pulled back SO many sonic fans that went to watch the film anyways. if not /more/.)#(and on top of that he has the same tonality and energy they tried to force this moshmo to try and emulate anyways so GET THE REAL THING)#(chris pratt as mario? i can at least defend /him/ and say that barring his failure to do a NY accent consistently he wasn't terrible)#(but mario's new voice actor could've been used instead and people would've clearly appreciated that WAY more)#(vanessa hudgens as sunny starscout in mlp g5's pilot movie? literally why. they replace her and hitch's va in the show.)#(don't even get me started on the concept of hiring celebrity singers to do musical theatre roles or not letting musical theatre singers-)#(-dub the celebrity voice actors you just HAD to hire for your film bc you're so worried about not getting enough clout to get ppl in seats#(that you're putting it all in this (1) big name hire bc turns out that you have no faith in your writing ability much less-)#(-animation as a medium.)#(and no before anyone says anything : no this is not me saying that ALL celebrity voice castings are bad.)#(there are some that aren't that bad and others that are actually pretty good.)#(i especially appreciate it when actors are damn well aware they aren't voice actors and try to LEARN from voice coaches-)#(-and/or their va predecessors if applicable.)#(that does not change the fact that the celebrity shouldn't have been hired just because the film wanted to have bragging clout-)#(-oh look at this FAMOUS PERSON we were able to hire — yeah ok. sure wendy. i want to know if this film is quality or not.)#(and 9/10 times the SECOND there is money spent on a non voice actor to voice the main character especially)#(that usually means somewhere along the way animation IS going to get shafted. if not w the animators themselves then in the way of-)#(-the actual animation itself and ESPECIALLY the screenwriting because it's especially been so dogshit lately even before the strike.)#(a celebrity being hired to fill a voice actor's role is such an immediate red flag to me and it is VERY rare that i get to be proven wrong
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@cokoweee
You are off the list 😌
I fear I hyped it up too much coz it’s literally just my old lady hobbies. I just stared at ur drawings for way too long and made ‘em needlepoint/ embroidery
THERES DETAILS AND SHADING I SWEAR!!!Tumblr just stole the quality>:( it looks cool in person you’ll just have to use your imagination
Yes I was gonna fill Cali in but I stabbed my finger threading the green and took it as a sign
Uh I forgot you’re some weird freaked up raccoon thing so I made your little sona guy normal raccoon colors. He has jorts because my little brother insisted that he couldn’t run around with a shirt and leave his balls hanging out. His words not mine 🫠
Sorry
Anyways if I had given this to you in person I would have also given you cookies from the bakery, but I can’t do that so the recipe is in the tags :)
(Look up how to make brown butter if you haven’t made it before)
Ok bye I’m sprinting away coz I’m mad embarrassed
🧍♀️🚙💨💨
#one cup butter#place it in a sauce pan and heat on medium till it gets all yummy smelling#it’ll turn brown two!#stir it constantly as it heats to ensure it won’t burn#LET IT COOL#once it’s cooled add 1 cup brown sugar and 2/3 cup white sugar#stir stir stir#once it’s combined add in 2 eggs and then 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla#I usually measure with my heart tho#In a diff bowl add your 2 3/4 cups flour and 1 teaspoon cornstarch and 1 teaspoon baking powder#one teaspoon baking soda and 3/4 teaspoon salt#it’s better to sift this before you mix it all together but I only ever do that when I’m working at the bakery#just adding everything for the homies#gradually add the flour mixture to the butter and sugar mixture and mix until almost combined#add as many chocolate chips as you desire#cover that dough and let it sit in the fridge for at least 30 minutes but an hour or more is best#this allows the butter flavor to incorporate itself#trust when I say it makes a difference#heat oven to 350#take out dough 15 min before cooking to let it soften a bit#shape into cookie balls and bake for#10-12 minutes till golden brown#let ‘em sit on the pan for like 10ish minutes before you try to move them#sprinkle with sea salt for extra yum but this is optional#EAT LIKE TWELVE 👹#whine about a tummy ache and then lay in bed and contemplate why you ate so many#the end 🪱
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#chapter 197#this is just one of those scenes that rotates in my brain constantly#blowing smoke is like a known invitation for sex too so its like BROOO USE YOUR WORDS ITS NOT TOO LATE#xxxholic#its so funny cause watanuki is soooooo#like theyre both being consumed w gay thoughts here#but#USE YOUR FUCKING WORDS WATANUKI. GOD#hes the type of person that thinks if he gives sad noncommittally seductive eye contact he wont have to talk about his feelings#the way he looks like hes mad doumeki didnt get the hint is hilarious given that this is usually doumekis problem#i think he gets it honey hes just burned out and thinks shit will never happen#and if you keep dawdling in your depression this way he never will!!!
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replaying dragon age inquisition is just an exercise in “the rebel mages would not fucking do that”
#da#my posts#specifically the hostile ones hanging out in the hinterlands for no good reason.#at least they gave the crazy hostile templars a motivation. a really weak one but still. At least they have a goal.#‘kill at mages. don’t gaf about anyone else’ ok. fine.#‘kill everyone you see for some reason. we need to steal their belongings I guess????’ insane. what the hell.#the could have at least done some blood magic about it. it would have been a boring repeat of da2 themes but at least there would be themes?#it’s just so STUPID. especially coming off of a fresh da2 playthrough.#like there’s some dumb stuff in da2 to give you an excuse to fight both mages and templars as generic npcs don’t get me wrong.#but not this much. and unlike da2 you and your companions comment on it as if it makes any sort of sense lol#also I hate that they decided that the chantry explosion killed a bunch of people (which is not supported at all by either the environments#or dialogue of da2 btw. the game is mainly concerned about anders murdering elthina not randos lol)#but that will come in later.#anyway. every note I find in the game from the mages is so insane. just found the area where the templars burned down a house with mages#locked inside. but because both sides have to be bad for dai plot reasons#the mages killed the peasants that lived in the house for damn reason lmao. AFTER robbing them on the road earlier.#insane choices from the writing team on this one.#what were you trying to SAYYYY#like I’m ok with the mages being a bit brutal. that happens in war. but there’s like. reasons? usually?#like as much as orsino turning himself into a flesh beast is insane and weird both-sides-ism plot device.#at least they tried to give him a reason (even if it didn’t make sense in the context of hawke and co absolutely destroying the templars he#was so convinced were going to kill them all)#the hinterlands mages genuinely have no reason to attack random passersby.#ESPECIALLY SINCE IM PLAYING A MAGE.#like?????? hello I am one of you. how the hell do you even know I’m not one of the rebels.#sorry anyway I’m upsetti spaghetti.
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👆this is me when i see ur art
HJKAKFKEKKAKEHFJK this lowkey jumpscared me XD, just me scrolling through my asks and BOO! SKELETON WITH BULGING EYES
on the other hand, this is me seeing all the lovely kind words about my art, it brings happy tears to my eyes. THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! I LOVE YOU ⋆⭒˚.⋆💙
#also guys ive already got a ton of awesome requests#keep em coming!#i ofc wont be able to get them all done#but i am tryna get most done. im very slow with each one because im taking my time and enjoying drawing these#if i rush then i wont be enjoying it as much and ill burn out quicker#and if i dont get to yours at this point in time#i will come back to them later#but thank you to everyone who has sent me a request!#ALSO ALMOST FORGOR#some requests i just dont get a clear picture in my head for. but dont take it to heart if i never get around to your request#i usually have a faint image in my head that i try to replicate#i still really appreciate the time you took to put in a request💙#yall should see my pen XD its literally being held together with tape#might go grab a new one on the weekend. ive been putting it off bc its really expensive to replace#its been taped up since last year XD
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for lent i'm also giving up wasting emotional energy on people who have shown me time and time again that i'm not a priority for them.
#and you know what#i might not like myself that much a lot of the time#but at this point in my life i do care about myself enough to say that i do in fact deserve that people who (allegedly)#care about me also show me that. and behave in a way that matches their words#and if they don't or don't want to. well. downgrade to acquaintance it is. don't expect me to open up to you ever again#and don't expect me to still be your agony aunt whenever it's convenient for ya✌️#ugh but it's such a fine line to walk esp when everyone in this scenario is somewhat neurodivergent#i know people are depressed and anxious and exhausted and overworked and burned out. and i do understand the urge to self-isolate#trust me i do. but it also hurts to see that they usually still find the time and energy to interact with other people. never with me.#and i'm sure there are valid reasons for that. and maybe i should be more understanding. but it also just hurts#and it triggers a lot of insecurities (maybe i'm overall just a draining person and not fun to be around blablabla)#and i know that's mostly a me problem but also friends should not make me feel that way#personal#delete later
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today i learned that we weebs are responsible for the existence of the .ass file type. #heritage
#花話#i actually learned this yesterday i've just been cracking myself up over the 'hashtag-heritage' thing ever since#.ass is a subtitle file btw!!! they're what make the really pretty ones with the elaborate typesetting and positioning n stuff#i always thought they did that shit by burning the fonts into the video via aftereffects or smth but it turns out#that while you could burn an ass file to a video for hardsubbing you can apparently just. like it's a text file you can use a text editor#and also turn them off when watching your stuff if you wish and god i was so surprised when i realized you could do that#with the pretty subtitles bc when using online streaming the soft subs were usually so ugly#anyway through a series of wacky hijinks i've ended up coding a subtitle file type converter these last few hours#and in looking up the standards for how .srt .ass and .vtt files are formatted i learned this gem#and you know what!!!! it makes soooo much sense#of course we weebs went off and made a file type for elaborate subtitle styling and positioning and timing#the intersection of art and technology in the weeb fan sphere is actually pretty cool!! there's niche ass software for so much shit#bc of the tendency of weebs to be into tech and stuff#in my spelunkinh around the old web i've also found a bunch of old specialized scanlation software from the 2000s!!! that's so cool!!!!#i just use a notes program and photoshop but they were out there in 2004 or so making photo editors that#could not only open up and edit multiple images in sequence you could page through but also load up your translation txt file#and i think also had specialized tools for cleaning text bubbles and stuff#and also obviously correcting scan issues and straightening things out AND THIS IS SO COOL!!!!#like we did that!! that's how things were done before i got into anime!!! back when i was a little kid; before i was even rlly sentient!!!!!
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it’s so funny to me when people hate a popular character for the sake of being contrarian like dksjdj that’s so like 13 yrs old it’s giving when i hated pink bc it was “girly”
#popular characters are usually popular for a reason#they’re usually compelling or well written and complex#like yeah it’s possible for a fanbase to burn you out on the character but like idk curate your online experience better#like you’re allowed to hate something just bc it’s popular#i just think you’re boring if you do EKSJJS#lyriumsings txt#I’d rather hate something for like idk an insanely petty reason#than hate it JUST bc everyone else likes it#even like “’i just don’t like the vibe’ is a reason to me#i don’t like the vibe of critical role#but i don’t hate it bc it’s popular lol
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my kin folder is exposing me so hard rn
#jan ken post#kite hxh#yes btw vyvy the title was inspired by your previous carrd RIP 🫡#this image is burned into my eyelids#hes so iced out#usually its a picture of ging because i saved all his pics there#just in case yall havent seen this pic enough#kiteposting
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Twitter post reminded me but the cynical “oh you used to be a gifted kid 🙄 “ posting is so funny to me bc it’s like. why are you jealous however many years later. most ppl when talking about gifted kid burn out are not talking about “having read really good and doing time tables fast” and instead are talking about a system that held high promises to them but refused to actually accommodate them so they were failed like any other child. yeah we probably could “read very fast” but not anymore, because we were pushed to that burn out.
#I’m sorry that you are mean and have hatred in your heart but maybe if you#but when I talk about my burn out I’m never bragging lmao#when we faced obstacles in my gifted class we would be rediculed for not knowing smth that we should apparently have just magically known#not to mention they focus solely on the academic portion of things and completely cut out one of the most important things in grade school:#socialization skills— which is smth ‘prior gifted’ kids (usually neurodivergent) struggled with already#so Theyre behind on a completely different level than you may realize#Jules talks
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"i'm not disabled" followed immediately by "i've got bad knees and a bad back" is certainly something to read 🤨 you know it doesn't have to be cripling for it to count, right...? it's not normal to be in pain after 15 minutes of standing. ableds can stand for, like, an hour at a time before they need to sit.
i know! i appreciate the concern, but i uh. dunno lol. genuinely i don't know. but i included the afaik ("i'm not disabled afaik" was the original phrase, though i'm not like mad at you for excluding it or anything) because i'm well aware that it's a possibility. it's hard to explain but there's a lot of little things that don't add up to much but are like. noticeable. like i would prefer to do most things sitting, if i could, as a matter of comfort. it would be easier for me. and walking isn't as bad as just standing. i've never been great at taking care of my body, and this has only gotten worse with time. it's hard for me to know what i should read as necessity and what i should read as preference, and how much weight to put on said preferences. like you said, i know it doesn't need to be "if i don't sit down i'm going to collapse" or anything, but where to draw that line between Definitely A Medical Thing That Affects Me More Than Other People and.. not that, i'm not sure. i kinda just thought i was a persistently slightly tired and low energy person, but it doesn't seem bad enough to be chronic fatigue, so...? is it related to the half-diagnosed. idk it's complicated depression (and yes in hindsight i probably should've counted that as disabling but whatever)? idk it's not a rabbit hole i've explored much at all is my point. but i know it's there and uh i guess this was sort of validating in a way anon so.. yeah? yeah👍
#also in reference to the pain after 15 mins of standing thing it's.. usually closer to discomfort than pain? but it's not Not pain either#it's often more like 'oh i should sit down. i wanna sit down. i should sit down' and it's not that frequent but it's like a status effect#and the frequent reminders are only after like 20-30 minutes#sometimes i don't even notice it and sometimes (if i'm bored lol) i'll notice it a Lot#this is not helped by my body being.. iffy at telling me what's going on. it's always too much or too little input with this guy#ahh that rascal. anyway#listen anon 1) uh sorry for going off like this idk if that's like. socially appropriate or whatever but i'm doing it anyway 2) if you've#got ideas i'm all ears. like off the top of your head not like. im not asking you to do research for an internet stranger ok#plus it feels weird saying i could be disabled when i have no idea what it would even be. i mean i think i'd believe someone else if they#said that but it's a classic rules for me and not for thee situation. still working on that#point is i got brain gunk for sure i just don't know how much of the body gunk is because of the brain gunk or smth else#like the possibly-probably autism definitely affects me physically i just don't know exactly what to do with that information#like. am i exhausted bc i'm overstimulated? is it the burn out? or is that a separate thing? or are they working together? etc#anyway yeah got caught vagueposting about my symptoms here's the deep dive no one wanted. for self indulgence purposes :v#no but i think about it a lot with posts like this bc i mean. would an able bodied person react THAT strongly to finding out shower stools#exist? probably not. but who knows for certain#....coming to the conclusion of. probably. maybe. but in what ways specifically? uh. i dunno. i just got them heavy limbs#might be a thyroid issue now that im looking into it. but again this is Not my area of expertise
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legs & lessons in perseverance | march '23
#so.#i fell into the fireplace lol#- thats the concise summary. but ive just been unwell health wise recently. i think ms is just harrowing to deal with#because you can go for so long symptom free and then one day you wake up and everything is wrong#your body feels wrong.#i remember being constantly angry at my body as though its a separate entity. especially when i was like 17/18.#because everytime i had a bad ms relapse i would literally breakdown in angry tears like- at my body. i was good to you. im meditating#im eating healthy. im exercising. ive been good to you.#but then suddenly you cant see or youre shaking uncontrollably or your limbs are numb#or my new favourite one: a couple of weeks ago i woke up at 4 am in a cold sweat. the inside of my thigh was burning#i dont mean like. exercise burning. i mean like struck a hot iron rod burning. it was obv nerve pain but that didnt stave off the panic#so i messaged my neurologist and hes like 'yeah its fine. wanna inject yourself?'#anyway. so recently i was helping my friend get his place houseparty ready and we were cleaning out the fire place#and my legs just gave out 😍#and i got so angry and humiliated i kind of just wanted to go to bed and not wake up tbh#which is what i usually do but like. i was angry. angry. scorpio angry as lidya would say. so i had a nap in his bed#and when i woke up i felt slightly better and for once i thought 'im not going to let my body ruin this day for me'#and i just dragged him to the markets with me. and i still had the tremors but we bought more greens than either of us needed#and we laughed and walked and he carried me to the car at the end of the trip and it was one of the best days ive had in a long while tbh#and it feels impossible but sometimes all u need is to brush the ash from ur knees and hide the scruffs with stockings &maybe youll be ok#💚#tw chronic illness#/ multiple sclerosis
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Very weird to be in that stage where a show is grabbing hold of your brain, but you haven't finished the show so you cant interact with fandom because spoilers, and you're watching it with someone else so you can't even just keep watching until you finish
#i am enjoying watching it with a friend and tbh having an assigned 'we'll watch it now' time is prob my best chance of finishing#on my own steam i'll probably burn out in s4 or something as per usual#but like its - i figured it would be a fun little zombie supernatural detective type thing#i thought it would be fun but was not expecting to start brainstorming fanfic ideas#granted who knows in advance what shows are going to be blorbos#but like! the charismastic asshole villain has amnesia! everyone is aware he has amnesia and are just kinda like#'we kinda pity you but you still suck'#and when he's just like 'okay?? why??' they were more than happy to give him an overview of the past two seasons#so now he's just like 'oh. okay. i. guess i am a serial killer that i cant remember. how do i deal with that?'#and idk how its going to end but i have a half-drafted plot of him getting his memories back steadily and is just like#'you know i didnt feel bad about it while doing it#but if you want to get some persepctive on your life develop amnesia and look at it from purely objective standpoint.'#or other plots like the time the love interest got arrested abd was being very very concerned about potentially starting an apocalypse#he didnt want to! he desperately didnt want to! but it was a risk#but yeah if i open a fanfic it'll probably say 'oh so how X died in the series finale' or something#and then i'll just have to accept X is dead
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How things are going again… update I guess? Still can’t figure out how to read more on mobile. I’m just typing this out so it can leave my head.
#nights are really hard for me#mornings are also really hard for me#I think my jobs burning me out#and I haven’t been able to sleep very well much at all#I’ve only been getting 3-5 hours if I’m lucky because my nightmares are really bad so I usually just stay awake#I mean I have to get up at 4am anyway so what’s the point#do you know how it feels to be in pain but you can’t cry because your body’s grown so used to it?#so it feels like crying because it’s Wednesday again#which I can’t justify because tommorrow is Thursday and that is your new normal#your new normal is working so hard you don’t have the time to see your dog and your cars ac is out and you spend all your money on the room#you sleep in 15 minutes away from the office you are stuck at more than 11hoirs a day#you ask your job to adjust your schedule and they say they can’t without cutting your hours and you need the money to survive#it’s too much#but feeling this way or not feeling this way won’t make a difference because the only other options will make your living situation harder#I’m so tired but I don’t have any better options right now so I have to keep waking up and working#I feel horrible spending time with me friends because I get tired after an hour and I worry that I’ve become#too flaky or something#I can’t stay up late and I’m already stressed out so I just can’t keep up with everyone and I don’t want to be a drain#I wish my heart would just stop some times#my meds stop me from hurting myself or crying or sleeping too long but these feelings always come to me when I wake up#I’m disappointed I woke up again#I don’t want to keep doing this I don’t know how long I can keep going#my body is breaking down like my car is breaking down#I don’t want to keep doing this I need more than a day off work a week I want to see my dog I don’t want to be poor but I don’t want to#wake up just to spend all day in an office getting yelled at while my coworkers come in and leave before me#I know I can do this I know I need to keep doing this I know there’s nothing better for me than this#I shouldn’t say these horrible things out loud because they’ll just wear me down faster#there’s nothing that will help me I need to help myself#this is en endurance test and I need to keep it up because if I fail I will lose so much more than I have#I wish I could cry I wish I could break down and scream but what would be the point? it won’t help it won’t fix anything m
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